Riley's Little Wish

About a month ago I reached out to the organization Little Wishes™...they are an amazing nonprofit in which Riley had been a previous recipient during treatment. My desire was not only to thank them for the amazing princess dress she had received but to offer a partnership...to find a way to merge our work. They gift, I shoot.  It seemed like a natural fit win/win situation so I looked up their email address typed my little heart out and hit send. Within minutes and I mean MINUTES I received the kindest email from the Little Wishes Co-Founder and President wanting to set up a call. I was thrilled. I was on the right track. I was in no way anticipating the truly amazing connection this "shot in the dark" would turn out to be.

Their Mission: (direct from their website)

Little Wishes™ grants requests of limited dollar amounts but of significant value to seriously ill children during their hospitalization. These children’s treatments can often be rigorous, painful, and the effects lasting – both physically and mentally. The delivery of a modest gift greatly eases hospitalized children’s pain and serves to improve their spirits and outlook during their hospitalization. Little Wishes™ asks the hospitalized children what brings them joy and what they feel passionate about.

Their Impact: (direct from me)

PRICELESS.

The Founders are pediatric nurses so more than most they really do know this world that I both live in and document. It shows in the work that they do and the amount of passion and dedication that goes into their cause. Laura and I immediately forged one of those "we HAD to have known each other in a past life" bonds. Our scheduled call (which might I add I was nervous and feeling like I was going to have to "pitch") turned into a total ramble sesh that had it been recorded not a human alive would have believed we hadn't been childhood pals. She got me. I got her. I knew that our missions would compliment each other but our souls...that you just can't predict.

Laura has now become one of my biggest supporters...reaching out to other hospitals making introductions, answering every ridiculous question I throw at her regarding this whole nonprofit world, gushing over videos of Riley being Riley and all in is just a loud and proud cheerleader of my work. If I forget for a moment that what I am doing matters I can be assured that a note will be coming from her to remind me it does. I am beyond grateful for this incredible woman who I have still yet to meet face to face.

Naturally it made sense for my very own Riley to kick off our first partner shoot...which reminds me...their program isn't a "one-time" deal...children are eligible every 2 weeks for a Wish. Amazing. For someone like Riley who gets infusions every 4 weeks...having a gift to look forward to each visit changes the entire tone of "hospital day".

Sheer joy is really the only way to describe the moment. She felt special, not sick. She was excited, not scared. To capture her moment and our missions all at the same time was a gift. As I scroll through images of that day the reality is still there...you can watch the progression as her excitement fades back into the reality that is treatment. Her journey is not easy but it it eased by others...others who support her, others who love her and others who answered the call to make a difference and grant her Little Wishes™.

Endless thank yous to Laura, her entire all volunteer staff and the Child Life team at UCSF Benioff Childrens Hospital.

To learn more about Little Wishes™ visit www.littlewishes.org.

Celebrating Sofia

I stepped onto the elevator…my hands trembling beneath the Styrofoam plates that held two giant pieces of take-home cake. This isn’t real. This can’t be real. This is not what leaving the birthday celebration of a child looks like. I’m not at a park, my children are not by my side, I’ve endured no small talk. I've only even met this child once before today but she feels a part of me. She IS a part of me. As the elevator lulls along I’m flashing back on my last hours…weaving in and out of the seas of people huddled around the hospital bed of their daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece, cousin. This girl is so many things to so many people. I hid behind my camera breathing through every single click…doing my best to seem invisible while capturing the heart wrenching beauty that consumed the room. It was a birthday party but it was not her birthday. Not even close. That is not a day she will see. Her body will not be here to carry her to the next age. But that family…that family will carry her in their hearts for the rest of their lives.

There is never a better time than now. Celebrate, love, forgive, dance, breathe, sing, play…do it all today. I have been putting off sharing the work I have been doing with the masses, I have been putting off writing…I’m not sure why…fear I suppose. Fear that I don’t actually know what I’m doing, that it won’t be good enough, that I won’t be enough. But if yesterday reassured me of anything it is that this work is not about me. It is about these families and the children they have been fortunate enough to love. I’m setting the fear down. I’m showing up for them. And that will be enough.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Up until now I have been operating on faith. Not a higher power sort of “faith” but faith in beauty, in love, in the humanity of people. I believed that I had something to offer… that because of my journey with Riley I had a unique perspective of the sheer power I could capture. That belief has consumed me. It has haunted me. It has made me feel powerless in the quiet hours when I’ve struggled with the “how to’s” and it has empowered me into moments of action.

The logistics behind bringing my ideas to life have been daunting to say the very least. Starting a nonprofit…how the hell do you do that? Let me tell you…google…that’s how. I have poured countless hours staring at this very screen figuring it all out, filling out paperwork, teaching myself to build a website, building said website and researching everything under the sun including the basics of photography. Because you see…I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve never started a non-profit, built a website and truth be told I’m not even a photographer. Not my trade. I just have a camera. That’s it and it’s not even really mine. My best friend and business partner purchased it because I have taken photos over the years of the many homes and projects we have worked on for our portfolio. I don’t even own a single lens. I have been fortunate enough to borrow them from Meg or rent them for the days I shoot.

This is why I say I have been operating on faith. Because when you don’t actually know what you’re doing but believe in it to the point that it makes you physically ill to not act on…that’s faith.  Every time I get a request to shoot I swipe my credit card for the gas money to get me there with the faith that this work matters more than not acquiring more personal debt. I walk into the hospital inhaling the will to be of service to those families and exhaling the hope that my faith will serve me. I then go home and hold my breath as the images upload onto my laptop silently begging that I captured the beauty I knew to be in the room…that they’re in focus, that they’re well composed, that they’re enough.

Yesterday I finally set aside my fear and shared this work on the Life of Riley Facebook page. Within 24 hours there have been almost 18,000 views on that single post. I have received a flood of comments, messages and emails from people that have overwhelmed me in the best kind of way. So many of you have reached out and asked how to help, how to be a part of this…you already are. Reading, sharing, sending love as you did for Riley will drive this work. Donations will make it possible. This program is cost free for the families but that does not mean that there is not a cost involved. My guess is you already knew that. I have had many ask what the immediate needs are for The Mark Makers… Answer: Funding & Fundraising. More Specific (Funding): equipment (lenses, computer, etc…), travel expenses (gas, parking, etc…) and general operating expenses (legal fees, software, time, coffee) ;-) More Specific (Fundraising): Hosting events, fundraising in your community, spreading awareness, teaching me what you know about fundraising since I know nothing…ya know…that kind of thing.

Thank you all for always supporting me…for reading what I have to say and reminding me that it matters, for never judging (at least outloud) my typos and potty mouth, for believing in the strength of my child and now the countless others that I will encounter and serve. You have made an immeasurable impact on my life and now collectively we will spread that impact to the hoards of other families affected by pediatric illness. So much gratitude…thank you, thank you, thank you.

For financial contributions please click below or send an email to contact@themarkmakers.org if you prefer to mail a check and the address will be provided.

For inquiries on fundraising please email : contact@themarkmakers.org